Life After Agnes

Vanity

2012-01-27T20:38:00.004-05:00

Pictures of me from the past few days. Because I'm vain.

1.24.2012

1.25.2012

1.26.2012

1.27.2012

Tales from My Sister: 2nd Grade Teacher

2012-01-14T21:08:00.002-05:00

Student: "Ms. Cunningham, how many kids do you have at home?"
Susan: "I don't have any kids at home!"
Student: "Did they move out?"
Susan: "No, I don't have any kids at all."
Student: "Oh no! Did they all die??"

Gone With The Wind in Internet Language

2012-01-13T02:15:00.002-05:00

Act 1

OMG this is the epic story of this chick Scarlett. So Scarlett's all "boys r so qt, but my otp is me and Ashley Wilkes." Then Ashley and his cuz Melanie get engaged, and Ashley's like "sry boo" and Scarlett's like "fml." Then this totally old guy Rhett is like "hey boo, u sexy and i promise not 2 tweet bout you. And Scarlett's like "ew gross, ur old" and marries Melanie's brother Charles.. Charles dies in like 5 seconds and Scarlett's like "lol txt it!" but then no1 will let her have fun cuz she's a widow so she's like "fml" again.

But then Scarlett goes to the ATL and sees Rhett at this bangin' party and he asks her to dance and she's like "omg ur old, but at least u dont curr if im in mourning." Everyone's like "omg that total slore, i can't believe she's dancing w/that bro. lol text it!" Rhett's like "Scarlett, bb, ily and we gonna get hitched." But Scarlett's like "ew, ur old and totally not cool. die in a fire."

Scarlett sees her boo Ashley again and they totes kiss even though Ashley's married. Scarlett's rull excited, but Ashley says he's staying with Melanie. Scarlett's all "I am disappoint" but then Ashley leaves for the Civil War or whatever, and Scarlett becomes bffls with Melanie bc everyone else kinda hates her. A lil while later the yankees are legit trying to burn down the ATL, which totally isn't cool, and Melanie's preggo and sick. So Scarlett and her maid have to give birth to this baby and Scarlett's all "ew this is gross" and the maid's all "i don't know nothin' bout birthin no babies." But the baby's ok or whatever, and Scarlett texts Rhett all "i know ur in love with me, so can u do me a favor and get me and my friends out of this hellhole?" So Rhett shows up and takes them all back to Tara and he's all "do u love me now?" and Scarlett's like "lol no. thx 4 the ride." But then she finds out her mama died and Tara's all kinds of screwed because of the yankees. So she's super pissed and tweets "i'll never go hungry again!"

Act 2
Scarlett's all working in the fields so her fam can eat, but then she kills this yankee because she's a bamf. She steals all his money, which was smart bc the south lose the war so they need the yankee money. Her boo Ashley comes back and they totally hook up again, but Ashley's still like "i'm married but i love you but i'm married."

Scarlett's all pissed and doesn't have any money, so she's like "that dude Rhett will totally gimme money. lol make me a dress out of the curtains so i look rull pretty!" So she goes back to the ATL, but Rhett's in jail and Scarlett's like "fml" but then she sees her sister's ex and is like "ur rich, let's hook up." So they get married and get richer, but then Scarlett gets attacked by these pervs and her hubby dies trying to defend her honor. Scarlett don't curr bc she didn't even like that dude, so when Rhett shows up and asks her to marry him she's like "evs. y not?" Rhett's all "ur gonna love me one day" and Scarlett's all "no way, i still love my boo Ashley. Ur just rich"

So Scarlett builds a big house in the ATL and has a baby with Rhett. He names the kid "Bonnie Blue" which is just a stupid name. And Scarlett's like "omg i'm totes fat now, my boo Ashley will never love me." Rhett goes all cray-cray bc Scarlett's still in love with that dude, and they fight a lot and then have sex." So Rhett's still mad and he takes Bonnie Blue to London, but when he comes back he finds out Scarlett's pregnant again. They get into a big fight and he pushes her down the stairs, which totally isn't cool, btw. So Scarlett loses the baby, and then Bonnie Blue falls off her pony and dies too. Total bummer!

Then Melanie is super sick and dying or whatever, and Scarlett sees that her boo Ashley really did love his wife and she's like "ugh fml" again. So she goes home and is like "at least Rhett still loves me" but he's like "lol no, you already screwed everything up." And Scarlett's like "then wtf do i do??" and Rhett's all "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." Which is the biggest insult ever. So then Scarlett goes back to Tara, all "ugh going home sux" but then she realizes she has grrl power and can do whatever she wants. So then she gets on facebook and is all "Rhett's gonna love me again! After all, tmrw's another day!"

Tweets of the Year Vol. 9

2011-12-19T04:08:00.002-05:00

Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth, y'all.
- @campsucks

I'm amazed that people aren't more up in arms over the fact that we're all going to die.
- @DannyZuker

Salma Hayek says being super-rich is "great." So, you know, myth busted.
- @badbanana

Chipper Jones is a good baseball player.
- @BravesStateofMind

Tweets of the Year Vol. 8

2011-12-18T15:59:00.002-05:00

George W. Bush says the most nervous moment of his Presidency was throwing out the first pitch. Which is why, for Me, it was all of them.
- @TheTweetOfGod

Googling your symptoms when you don't feel well is the most efficient way to convince yourself you're dying.
- @capricecrane

Now that he's in his thirties, can we all agree to be a little less impressed with Conor Oberst?
- @JohnRossBowie

Whenever I run more than one errand I can't help think "damn, who let me takeover the world."
- @sofifii

I have no idea how the stock market works but I know all the words to "We Didn't Start the Fire" so.....
- @RoundTine

Tweets of the Year Vol. 7

2011-12-18T03:53:00.000-05:00

Oh for fuck's sake. Sue Grafton still hasn't finished the alphabet yet?
- @bitchylibrarian

If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say, ”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot”, you are wasting everybody’s time.
- @ShanNicole

The Tea Party has no issue with Obama’s policies. They have no idea what they actually are. They just hate that he’s black.
- @MikeFTW

Did Fuller from "Home Alone" end up pissing his pants? Seems like a pretty major plot point left unresolved if you ask me.
- @markleggett

The GOP love Ronald Reagan for the same reason hipsters love the Velvet Underground: You think you have to.
- @ProfessorParks

Tweets of the Year Vol. 6

2011-12-17T15:32:00.002-05:00

Professor (about Black Cat Week): I respect your right to get naked and drunk. #overheardatagnes
- @XunQiu

Watching Lost. They are playing a game for the last deodorant stick. Wouldn't you want someone else to have the deodorant?
- @KolbeFitz

Why dogs are better than kids: "Our baby is only 4 months old, so we lock him in a cage while we're at work."
- @jimmyfett

Every morning I wake up and thank God there wasn't youtube when I was 12.
- @natashaleggero

Hey, guys attempting to do that "hitting on you by playing to your insecurities" thing: nice try, but I'm pretty sure I'm hot.
- @roundtine

Tweets of the Year Vol. 5

2011-12-17T02:07:00.002-05:00

So, explain to me how exactly house arrest is a punishment? Are you only allowed to order from Domino's or something?
- @roundtine

After Social Network & Girl w/ Dragon Tattoo, the 3rd film in David Fincher's Misogyny Trilogy is just 2 hrs of a guy peeing on a woman.
- @robdelaney

Picturing all of your organs, just laying there pulsating under your skin, is a pretty terrible way to try to fall asleep.
- @kellyoxford

Best. Dump. Ever.
- @LoMoMarlins

What sound does an elephant make? The kids book I read Mason says an elephant says "Braloo"! Please! I've never heard an elephant say that.
- @KimKardashian

Tweets of the Year Vol. 4

2011-12-13T16:23:00.002-05:00

Handing out copies of "A Modest Proposal" at the next Young Republicans meeting. Fingers crossed.
- @JimmyFett

"Tomorrow's a new day" sounds like a threat.
- @ShelbyFero

Newt Gingrich -- the leader America turns to when every other option has literally shit on its own face.
- @PattonOswalt

are we still caring about things or can i stop now i'm tired
- @sbellelauren

Does anyone else completely undo their pants way before they get to the bathroom?
- @LaurenLopez1

Tweets of the Year Vol. 3

2011-12-13T01:12:00.002-05:00

It's Saturday? Every day is Saturday when you don't have a job.
- @TheManWife

"Diarrhea is not a side effect, diarrhea is a major god damn problem."
- @BravesGasm

Failed a safety test.Question was "what steps would you take in the event of a fire?" Apparently "fuckin big ones" wasn't the right answer.
- @ochocinco

Feelings are for people that can't hold their whiskey.
- @thetaylorcarr

So, explain to me how exactly house arrest is a punishment? Are you only allowed to order from Domino's or something?
- @roundtine

Tweets of the Year Vol. 2

2011-12-12T16:05:00.002-05:00

I can't believe no rapper has rhymed struggle with muggle yet
- @sbellelauren

Sometimes when I'm traveling I find a mom with the same destination as me and follow her the whole time.
- @lamartin1991

"I like these kid leashes, white people are onto something!"
- @bravesgasm

Meth addicts can look scary and act violent but I think that's probably just because of all the meth they take.
- @dannyzuker

If you removed all content from Cosmo Magazine and replaced it with "DO LOTS OF SEX FOR MEN/NO FATTIES" it would be the exact same thing.
- @kellyoxford

Posting after a very long break

2011-12-12T00:45:00.002-05:00

It's nearing the end of the year, which means it's time for me to reflect on 2011. I feel that the best way to do this is through my favorite tweets of the year. In no particular order. I considered doing it by a ranking system or through categories, but the easiest thing is just to go back through the tweet chronologically. And I'm lazy. I'll do about 5 a day for the rest of the month. Or until I run out of excellent tweets.

I love how they slap "Natural" on all these foods. You know what else is natural? Uranium. But I wouldn't lick it.
- @TheManwife

the fact that not all parents are alcoholics astounds me.
- @devonkate

My Kickstarter campaign to buy the rights to "Jingle Bell Rock" so it'll never be played again has raised $3 billion in six minutes.
- @badbanana

"Toddlers & Tiaras" is the greatest Christopher Guest project ever.
- @thetaylorcarr

Picturing all of your organs, just laying there pulsating under your skin, is a pretty terrible way to try to fall asleep.
- @kellyoxford

A Couple Notes on Life

2011-09-28T03:30:00.004-04:00

1. Job front is as grim as ever. Even when friends send me leads on possible jobs, I've usually already applied for them and either been rejected or gotten no response. Morale is getting low. Seasonal work for the winter seems to be in my future.

2. Another situation where morale is getting low: the Braves. We went from a huge lead in the wild card to being tied. One game left for us to get into the post-season. Ren and I got tickets for these last 2 games, and now I'm sort of regretting it because it just gives us the sads. I did NOT imagine us limping into October like this.

(Ren slept through Saturday's Braves game, but I made sure she was still doing the chop!)

3. My birthday's coming up! October 8! (Presents are optional, but appreciated.) I know I'm getting old because the main things I want are contact lenses (getting sick of glasses) and my more whimsical desire is a semi-pro flash for my camera. Ren may get me a tattoo, which I'm excited about. My parents' are not tattoo fans, but they got over my nose piercing pretty quickly...

4. Also, on the subject of my birthday, I think I'm Benjamin Button. I turn 24 in a couple weeks, but people still mistake me for a middle-schooler. I seriously look younger every year. General consensus says I look like I'm 12, which places me at exactly half my age. My parents have baby faces and look younger than they are, so I guess this is just my lot in life. But seriously, half my age??

5. Betty, Ren's mom, has turned the dial on her OCD up to 11. She got her carpet replaced a few days ago and has been obsessively vacuuming ever since. The other day she was vacuuming the lamps in the living room. Seriously. She asked Ren to vacuum the laundry room, and after it was done, Betty went back over it with the dustbuster. I find it all more humorous than Ren does. But really, vacuuming a lamp??

Tweets of the Week (for non-baseball people)

2011-09-23T11:50:00.002-04:00

So I realize that my Tweets of the Week this week were all (purposefully) baseball-centric. A lot of other excellent things happened on twitter this week (duh. like every week) and it felt unfair to leave them out. In fact, the past couple of weeks have been so chocked full of hilarious twitter fodder that I've been categorizing posts so that I can keep the posts less than 60 pages long. Not today! This is catch-all, anything goes, etc. So it'll probably be very long. I apologize. But none of the thoughts are longer than 140 characters, so I think you little pea-brains can handle it.

Now, the elephant in the intertubes this week is the unjust execution of Troy Davis in my own home state (go Georgia!) I could probably make an entire post just of the interesting discourse that occurred on twitter - from Alec Baldwin personally sounding off to random people on just why the execution was unjust, to the people updating from protests at the actual prison. But I have nothing to say that hasn't been said, and the glory of twitter is the fact that it's real-time conversations, thoughts and musings. There's no way I could capture the actual vibe and mood.
SO funny things! Nothing about state-sanctioned murder! Things that are funny! Annnd go!

Remember the people who were making up Obama tweets and responding to them? No? Here, about 3/4 down the page. I'll wait.
ALRIGHT, well they're at it again! Or still! Or something!

WHAT? RT @BarackObama A human woman is pregnant for 9 mos. & a dog is pregnant for 2 mos. So it'd be like 5 mos. for a Dogman?
- @robdelaney

Political

Soooo, we're just gonna ditch that whole 'compassionate conservative' thing, then? All right. Copy that.
- @JohnRossBowie

If we really want to broaden our tax base, why don't we tax people from other countries?
- @StephenAtHome

The GOP love Ronald Reagan for the same reason hipsters love the Velvet Underground: You think you have to.
- @ProfessorParks

The Tea Party has no issue with Obama’s policies. They have no idea what they actually are. They just hate that he’s black.
- @MikeFTW

At @AtlantaMagazine Forum, Young says all Presidents since Johnson "from south." He's right, except for Nixon, Ford, Reagan, Bush & Obama.
- @andishehnouraee

The Daily Drama of Life

Breaking news: you can eat cake every day
- @sbellelauren

I'm pretty sure I'm getting rejection letters for positions I haven't applied to yet.
- @TheManwife

All this, yet Facebook still has no "Just tell me when these crazy bitches be engaged and/or pregnant" button.
- @RachaelMaddux

You know when you get such a good parking space you just want to throw your keys into the street and walk away because it doesn't get better
- @campsucks

Childhood

Is there such a thing as Baby Botox? For children who have distressed faces and a pageant to win?
- @KateFlannery

Why dogs are better than kids: "Our baby is only 4 months old, so we lock him in a cage while we're at work."
- @JimmyFett

At @AtlantaMagazine Atlanta mayors forum, Reed says children are "100% of our future." He's forgetting robots.
- @andishehnouraee

Every morning I wake up and thank God there wasn't youtube when I was 12.
- @NatashaLeggero

The birds & the bees will be an easier convo w/ our children than explaining how Mike Tyson was once the most feared man in the world.
- @JensenClan88

Celebrities are Dumb
People living on Mars!?!? That's pretty awesome!
- @RobKardashian

Picnic. Where did that word come from?
- @justinbieber

They say don't drink and drive but they ain't say don't get drunk and drive. LMAO
- @50cent

Hello Facebook. Yes, this is actually Lindsay. Welcome to my Facebook page!
- @lindsaylohan
wrong

Layla Dhere (@roundtine) is a Genius
My long-time friend Layla is hilarious and kind of my other half. or evil twin because she's a yankees fan... Really if you don't have a twitter, you should get one JUST to follow her. Here's what you've been missing.

~I got a comb stuck in my hair while trying to wrap it around my bangs. My options are to cut it out or commit seppuku, I guess.

~Can't wait to be an old spinster so I can give all my cats Star Wars names.

~I like how people pause after saying "so I read this article in the Economist" to give you a moment to be impressed before they continue.

~ "I don't really read" is the second worst answer to "What's your favorite book?" (the first is Tuesdays with Morrie)

~ Change "but then I got high" to "but then Rocky IV came on tv" and you basically have my life story.

~ I'm really jealous of 19th century women who got to have Oscar Wilde as their sassy gay friend.

~ Just had a ten minute phone conversation with my sister about chick-fil-A. I know, I can't figure out why I'm single either.

~ Followin the money like I'm Woodward and Bernstein (line I'd use if I was a rapper)

~ Hey, guys attempting to do that "hitting on you by playing to your insecurities" thing: nice try, but I'm pretty sure I'm hot.

**Warning**

Today is the last day of All My Children, unceremoniously canceled after 41 years on the air. I grew up on All My Children, and if you remember a previous post, I had quite an obsession for a few years. I'm planning a special "Life After Agnes (Nixon)" post to commemorate the day. Not sure when this will actually occur.

Sleeping with Leia

2011-09-23T07:41:00.000-04:00

Sleeping with Leia, a photo by anne:_ on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Me and my Princess Leia pillow that Lizen got for me this summer when I visited. She got it on a whim, not knowing that Ren has a matching one with Yoda and Obi-Wan. I love this pillowcase because it matches Ren's AND it reminds me of Morgan and Lizen, who I miss dearly.

Tweets of the Week - Late September Edition

2011-09-23T06:00:00.001-04:00

This means it's the ALMOST BASEBALL PLAYOFF SEASON EDITION!

Is it a good thing or a bad thing when they spell your name wrong on the Jumbotron at your home stadium?
- @lomomarlins (Logan Morrison)

Chicago Cubs World Series MVP #RejectedHalloweenCostumes
- @KellyThul

Dear Mets fans, we don't care if you call him Larry or not. If you want to insult him, try saying something other than his given name.
- @missjuliek
Larry Wayne Jones Jr. (aka Chipper Jones) remains a Mets Killer

Beginning to regret drunkenly shouting, "If the Mets win this game I'll get Mr. Met tattooed on my forehead" in the top of the ninth...
- @BravesAmerica

Chipper's 7-year-old son Shea underwent a sinus-related surgery this morning in ATL. He will be available to come off the bench tonight.
- @mlbbowman
I just liked the wording of this one. It sounds like the 7-year-old is available on the bench instead of Chipper...

Sign on jumbotron: "Freddie Freeman for Wookie of the Year"
- @BravesLove
(at the Star Wars themed game. which I went to. of course.)

The Stormtrooper wasn't giving hugs. But Ren did get a picture.

Ren and I took Maria and Naomi to the Braves game. It took a few innings to get them in the spirit of chopping. They never really got into it because we lost this game terribly. One day we'll turn them into Braves fans!

Braves-Hawk!

2011-09-23T03:41:00.003-04:00

All season, the Braves have sported their bro-hawks (even Chipper!) So heading into the playoff season, Ren has acquired her own faux-hawk, or BRAVES-HAWK! Hinske's stepped up his Braves-Hawk a notch, so Ren did too! Six games left and we need to win 'em all, but we'll do it! Go Braves!

PSA: I'll Do All the Things 4 U

2011-09-20T21:44:00.003-04:00

You may think I don't care about you, anonymous blog reader, but you're wrong. You're OH SO WRONG! To the person who googled "Tim Hudson With Hair" and came to my blog, I'm sorry that I didn't answer your inquiry. After seeing this request, I searched through my kleenex box full of baseball cards (I'm classy like that) because I knew that I had a Huddy rookie card. Unfortunately, he's wearing a hat in that and every other Huddy card I have, but he looks pretty darn bald under those caps. So I'm sorry, anonymous blog reader. I tried and failed to come up with some small way to satiate your desire for a luscious-locked Huddy, but it seems as though he has been bald forever.

Here's Derek Lowe's AMAZING rookie card picture to make up for it:
Isn't it epic? Not gonna lie, it's the first baseball card I ever bought and I sort of want it framed above my bed for the rest of my life. That shirt! The hair! The awkwardly placed jeans!

The Worst Morning of the Rest of My Life

2011-09-20T15:32:00.004-04:00

Yesterday started out in one of those terrible ways that made me want to pull a Garfield and go "Ughh! Mondays!" But the thought of Garfield just made everything worse. God I hate Jim Davis and that stupid cat. I'm a really heavy sleeper - I could make a blog post just listing things that I've slept through that seem like a medical anomaly - but yesterday all it took was a punch to the eye. Ren rolled over in her sleep and whacked me in the face with her balled up fist (why does she sometimes sleep with balled up fists? no idea.) She didn't hit me that hard, I don't have a black eye or anything, but it definitely woke me up. So, naturally, the first thing I did was reach for my crackberry to check the overnight haps. My parents had gotten home the night before, so I had an email from my mom (yes, my parents send me emails even if I'm in the house) asking if I wanted to watch a slideshow of pictures from their trip. Of course my mind immediately flashed to terrible vacation slideshows a la The Wonder Years. Sitcoms have really ruined things like vacation slideshows. I went downstairs for my breakfast of cookies and diet coke, and my mother cornered me in the kitchen with her computer (why did I think it was a good idea for her to get a laptop?!) Some of the pictures were fun to look at. They stayed at a hotel in Berkeley, did some wine tastings in Napa, and took a scenic drive up Hwy 1. But my mother possibly took more pictures of the inside of the hotel than she did of the vineyards and Muir Woods. Growing up, my mom always complained about how her artist dad took pictures of the most random things just because he thought they were pretty or interesting (we still have boxes and boxes of 1960s prints of leaves and twigs.) My mother suffers a similar fate, but her photographic addiction is simply having documentation of everything in life. When she helped me move into the residence hall at Agnes Scott she took before, during, and after shots of the room. And then MORE pictures once my roommate moved in. We have albums full of pictures she's taken around the yard before and after the landscaper comes. It's truly excessive. (Mom, if you're reading this. I love you, really. But why all the pictures??) So anyway, I sat and watched this entire slideshow and listened to stories about the trip like a good daughter before taking my diet coke and leftover pizza back up to my room. I ended up sleeping most of the day yesterday and then today was rather uneventful, so hopefully the bad beginning of my week won't carry over for the next few days.

I also have a weird pain in my left thigh, where I have significant nerve damage. It feels like someone's poking me with a red hot stick, letting the heat and pain radiate down to my knee, and then poking me again. It's been on and off for a couple of days and it's really getting old. I've been controlling my pain with otc NSAIDs for the past few months, but I may need to get back on the prescription (read: more expensive, NOT more narcotic) stuff, especially if I ever find a job that forces me out of bed. Siiigh. Can doctors do a successful amputation starting above the hip?

Blogger Fail

2011-09-20T15:22:00.003-04:00

My parents went to California for their 30th (!!!!) wedding anniversary last week, so I took advantage of that time to alternately watch movies on the couch with their awesome surround sound and watch movies (and a Kardashian marathon...) on their super comfy bed with the really nice tv. Ren kept pointing out how having the really nice tv and the really nice sound system on opposite sides of the house doesn't make much sense, but that's my parents for ya! I swear, it was all I could do to convince her that we shouldn't watch all 6 Star Wars movies with the great sound and then again with the great picture. ANYWAY, this busy movie schedule has kept me away from the internet for the most part (you should've seen the state of my Google Reader this morning. LORDY!) But I'll try to find some interesting things to talk about this week. It'll probably be pretty piecemeal as I go through my tweets for sparks of inspiration. But I'll do my best to blog more than once this week.

Don't hold your breath.

Search Term Wins

2011-09-14T20:11:00.005-04:00

The feature of getting to see what people search for to get to my blog is brilliant. I hope these people found what they were looking for.

Multiple searches over a long period of time
Nate McLouth Hair is the overall winner with hundreds of people searching for that and landing here over the past few months.
Scrunchie
Freddie Freeman Beard
Gay disney villains
High tank toilet canada (your guess is as good as mine!)
I became a toy for my sadistic sister (this one's spiked recently, with me getting at least one hit a day from someone searching for this. kiiind of freaky...)
Desperate for a toilet (yikes! good luck!)
Braves brohawk
Is Nate McLouth gay (not to my knowledge, but you never know!)
Life After Angus (Yes. That's what this blog is about. Life after deluxe hamburgers.)
Ninja Kill
Sissy Maid

One time weirdos
Those are suspenders
Suspenders yes
Suspenders no
Agnes Scott snuggie (I want one too, whoever you are!)
Bandaid on face
Christians creep me out
Do they know it's christmas sucks
It's no longer rude to surf the internet when someone's talking to you (UNTRUE!)
Scrunchies in films
Who? Woooooo Emily the strange
Disney flaming queers
Cabbage bandaid

I feel like my scrunchie blogging has been woefully inadequate recently. I do still wear scrunchies a lot, and I'm still majorly pro-scrunchie. I'll have to come up with a new scrunchie post soon. For now:

Best of Twitter's Trending Topics - Tuesday

2011-09-13T22:23:00.000-04:00

Why I'm Single
Men are intimidated by my headband/side-pony combo.
- @AmandaNorthrop

When I get mad at someone I call them a 'doodoo face'.
- @LexiiRocks

I'm saving myself for Ronald Weasley.
- @GlowsAho3

I have leprosy.
- @kevinosaur7

I'm a nerd who collects toys, watches Power Rangers & Doctor Who, works in Education, and has a face that even scares me.
- @LinearRanger

Too busy tweeting.
- @Malay_Speaking

I'm just waiting for Justin Bieber to ask me out.
- @IHeartsAriana

Talk About Awkward
Michael Vick in a pet store.
- @ImAshleyBanks

Remus Lupin having to talk about "his time of the month".
- @Lord_Voldemort7

Running at wall to get to Platform 9¾ and it not letting you through. Then you realize you ran at the wrong wall.
- @PotterChosenOne

That awkward moment when you step into your closet and you don't go to Narnia
- @WaitForIt101

Your chair makes a farting noise and no one believes it was the chair! So, you try to do it again.
- @DannyReagan

The Most Common Lies
I love you.
- @MrWizKhaIifa

I've read the terms and conditions.
- @LegalsluvJDB

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman"
- @dulce_gOTcurves

Sorry, that was my last piece of gum
- @KelleyMcGill12

Yes Grandma, I love the sweater.
- @DaRealKidPhr3sh

I'm not a muggle, my Hogwarts Letter just got lost on the way.
- @JoRowlingNet

Best of Twitter - Star Wars Edition!

2011-09-12T11:28:00.002-04:00

In honor of the new Bluray collection. Which I'll get once I have $80.

whrwnhnh rrnrhr WHRWHHNNRHRR!
- @Chewbacca

I won't believe the Gaddafi regime has truly fallen until I see dancing Ewoks and a shiny C3PO. #Libya
- @KingSwing72

"Talked with George. Another change to the saga: Han will now say 'I love you too' in Empire." #darktimes
- @SithMyDadSays

"My greatest accomplishment: convincing Obi-Wan to rock the mullet."
- @SithMyDadSays

Jokes about the New Blu Ray Release

Jabba wears glasses #starwarschanges
- @EscapePodFilms

Co-co-pilot of the Millennium Falcon: Steve Binks (Jar-Jar's nephew) #starwarschanges
- @EscapePodFilms

Hey Lucas, you've changed everything else, so where's my goddamn medal? #starwarsbluray #discrimination
- @stonerchewie

I just read George Lucas added a CGI Potsie and Laverne to American Graffiti. He really needs to cut it out.
- @AnthonyDevito

Maybe Jabba could use some legs? #updatenotebook
@FakeGeorgeLucas

You know, if George Lucas is going to edit anything in the Star Wars movies, why not edit out Jar Jar Binks...completely.
- @mercurie80

#StarWarsDrinkingGame

Drink everytime Jar Jar says "meesa"
- @Dont_Get_Cocky

Drink every time a Jedi ignites their lightsaber.
- @SithSarcasm

Drink every time somebody says something derogatory about the Millenium Falcon.
- @Garageman_Mike

Drink every time you see something that makes you say, "That's not supposed to be there!" #LucasReEdit
- @NonaDAbove

General Grievous just made the "3 seconds of chugging for each lightsaber turned on" rule very interesting.
- @ChasGBC

#StarWarsTaughtMe

To always let the wookiee win
- @JeffIsAGeek

That Samuel L. Jackson is always Samuel L. Jackson no matter what galaxy he's in
- @StaxIGN

That creepy old hermits can teach you magic.
- @SpikeTV

Mixing up sentence structure, fun it can be to.
- @RobbOrr

it's ok to chop your friends up into pieces with your lightsaber and leave them for dead and STILL be the good guy
- @TChig

May the Force be with you.

Best of Twitter - Beginning of the Week

2011-09-12T09:13:00.001-04:00

Just Plain Good
Because of Forest Gump, whenever I see someone running, I'm always tempted to shout 'RUUUUUN FOOOORRESTTT, RUUUUUUUUUN!'
- @Evil_Dumbledore

I love any movie where Gwyneth Paltrow dies in the first 15 minutes. #contagion
- @roundtine

Oh shit, guys, I'm so excited, no one I saw today will I see tomorrow so I can wear the same outfit again.
- @MindyKaling

"I hate flies. They are just downright rude." -Papa Snyder
- @errrikuhhh

Now that they come with a plastic cup holder, I'm thinking about getting myself a Hoveround. Sweet ride.
- @ajcbraves

#ThingsThatShouldBeBanned

Jagermeister
- @barrydo76

Fake Butts
- @SwiffD

Crocs... They look like cheese.
- @DrinkMyKidsHoe
(cheese? what??)

Planking
- @STaylor_T

Farting in the club when the music is loud.
- @CaptainPajamas

Any thing or activity not adhering to a strict interpretation of the Bible or Koran. And also cauliflower - ick!
- @TheTweetOfGod
(god hates cauliflower!)

Harry Potter (is the best)

Whatever your problem is, I suspect the Nargles are behind it.
- @Evil_Dumbledore

Imagine if you actually got your Hogwarts acceptance letter, but your parents hid it from you all these years...
- @Evil_Dumbledore

I'd like Harry Potter to be read at my wedding instead of the Bible.
- @BriBryontour

The Wicked Witch of the West was a Slytherin.
- @_Snape_

Moony_Kins
My friend Taylor started a twitter that features crazy quotes from fanfic, specifically Harry Potter fanfic. Most of it is pure gold. If these highlights don't make you want to follow this twitter, I don't know what will.

"Fanfiction.net is brought to you today by Liquor.com" - well of course it is.

"The boys, while in the closet, are forced to go in the closet until they come out of the closet by coming in the closet."

"Ms. Granger, you must remember that Draco Malfoy is a young man with an incredible sexual past." - Minerva McGonagall, folks.

"He just didn't think Sirius was serious about it, no pun intended." #veryoriginal

Tweets of the Week

2011-09-12T03:26:00.002-04:00

"your bridesmaids will have to hold up your dress and my groomsmen will have to hold up my beard"
- @SixelaNesor

The homophobic guy who loves to rollerblade must feel so conflicted.
- @Det_AceVentura

It was a mistake to put up that hummingbird feeder. Now they look at me like I'm their dealer. I'm afraid to go outside.
- @ChrisColfer

The hardest part of dating foreign guys is having to pretend like soccer matters.
- @roundtine

I still cannot forgive Bernadette Peters for kidnapping Annie. She may have talent, but that just scarred me as a child.
- @proromo

You just know QT has considered sushi at some point. And I'm pretty sure I would get it- just to say ive had gas station sushi.
- @MayorOfPonce

Though I hate both decals, I'll take "Calvin pissing" over "Calvin praying" any day.
- @JohnFDaley

"I have a thing for blondes" is my favorite euphemism for "I only date whites."
- @cschleichsrun

How do I implement the Dominos tracking system into all aspects of my life?
- @sofifii

3 potassium elements together are racist.
- @LoMoMarlins

Political Tweets

Like George W Bush, but wish he was dumber & meaner? Then you'll love Rick Perry! #rejectedrickperryslogans
- @delrayser

Newt Gingrich apparently wants to pull jobs magically out of his cavernous ass.
- @Frediot

"Never forget -- I am a roaring turd-cannon." -- Newt Gingrich. #GOPdebate
- @PattonOswalt

If Rick Perry doesn't get the nomination, he'll make one hell of a Just for Men spokesman. #GOPdebate
- @RachaelNichol

Why is Newt Gingrich still a thing that is happening
- @jessmisener

Romney: "Mexicans are made of weird metal attracted to American magnets." #GOPdebate
- @andishehnouraee

Anniversary

2011-09-11T23:07:00.009-04:00

9/11 is obviously famous for its depressing anniversary, but for me it has a nicer meaning - it's my anniversary with Ren. Last year on this day we went to a Braves game together. It wasn't the first time we'd hung out or even our first "date" but it was definitely the beginning of our relationship. We also decided on 9/11 as our anniversary because it's easy to remember. And we're both kind of forgetful. Anyway, we didn't do much today, but I feel like a sappy post is necessary.

This is something I wrote a couple months into the relationship, when I knew for certain I'd fallen in love.

That late summer night when the Braves beat the Cardinals
I knew I was in trouble.
Wandering around the cotton mill at 3 am
My mind was also wandering and my heart was racing.
The hundred year old walls were whispering their secrets to me.
The exposed wooden beams in the tall, dark ceilings put my head in the clouds,
but the sturdy, hand hewn stairs kept my feet firmly on the ground.
Your curly hair and big blue eyes overpowered my instinct to run away.

That late summer night when the Braves beat the Cardinals
I wondered why I wasn't scared.
That mill with the memories of a century as a mini-Appalachian enclave,
a mere mile from downtown Atlanta,
I could almost hear the mechanical noises drowning out a dulcimer
and the scars from the turbulent history were prominent and overwhelming.
The solid brick walls that had been ravaged by disaster tore down my defenses.
I had presumed my own walls to be infallible,
but when you held my hand a tornado sped through my body,
causing the fortress around my heart to crumble.

That early fall night when the Braves beat the Marlins
the 11-inning game went past midnight
and there was a chill in the air for the first time since May.
We warmed up with stories of magic, of creatures that fly,
but the real fairy tale was us.
Unlikely people in an unlikely situation,
the two of us - too scarred to feel - revealing our vulnerabilities.
I want to hear your fall stories, every time you broke your heart.
When your skin touches mine, I want to show you my soul.

That late summer night when the Braves beat the Cardinals
I knew I was in trouble.
And I don't seem to be wrong.

Us at that first Braves game. I was obviously dressed to impress, with those suspenders and all...

Some time last fall

Last Thanksgiving at Beth's wedding. Dancing like the super cool kids we are.

When we were iced in back in January. We played Star Wars Monopoly a lot and got kind of stir crazy.

Before our Valentines Day date. Don't worry, I was happier after a couple glasses of wine.

Braves game on our 8 month anniversary.

This summer. I think we'd gone swimming or something and that's why we look like a mess. Or it's just that we ARE a mess.

Yesterday. So much classy.

Best Tweets of the Past Fortnight

2011-09-05T02:03:00.009-04:00

*I've been kind of a blogging failure recently because I've been busy job-hunting, trying to have a life, sleep, etc. I can't promise it'll get better.*

I've got some real twitter gems for y'all! Hold on to your panties, guys! I know there are a lot, but it's two week's worth! And they're worth it!

OMG HURRICANE IRENE

My son does a better job masking his disappointment after losing a game than Wolf Blitzer does every time he says "Category 1."
- @DannyZuker

We should name hurricanes after dead celebrities. I bet people wouldn't be that mad if their home was wrecked by Hurricane Joe DiMaggio.
- @DearAnyone

I'm at my mother's house in NYC. Found this note that she wrote to herself, pre-hurricane
- @JordanRubin

Terrifying Realizations about Life

Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth, y'all.
- @campsucks

I'm amazed that people aren't more up in arms over the fact that we're all going to die.
-@DannyZuker

Bin laden dead. Whitey Bulger found. West Memphis 3 free. Feels like America has been cancelled & the loose plot lines are being tied up.
-@GerryDuggan
(Now I'm getting concerned...)

Realizations about Pop Culture

Television in the 21st Century will be most known as the time when companies spent millions of dollars convincing women to eat yogurt.
- @DamienFahey

I guess Kim Kardashian is no longer a virgin, now that she's married and all.
- @BedheadBunny

Salma Hayek says being super-rich is "great." So, you know, myth busted.
- @badbanana

If someone makes a reality show that follows the daily life of a reality show camera crew, then that's it, right? Back to written stuff?
- @bazecraze

Life is Actually Pretty Awesome

Marlo doesn't like to "crunch" gum so we have to put it in our mouths first to soften it for her. This is how civilizations fall into ruin.
- @Dooce

You have to hand it to the muggles. #ElectricityIsAmazing
- @Evy_Lynch

2yr old is singing to herself: "There's money in the banana stand, there's money in the banana stand.." Clearly, my work here is done.
- @KellyOxford

If you want to have sex with someone & they don't want to have sex with you, you should go for a jog or do a collage instead.
- @RobDelaney

A Single Poem
Lil Wayne needs to buy milk. He can't write it on his hand as there are too many tattoos. A single tear rolls down his cheek, also a tattoo.
- @markleggett

The Braves!

Thanks for the braves country, last time I trended on Twitter it was bc I tripped spiderman in philly
- @DiazFoundation
(When The Braves re-hired Matt Diaz. Here's the epic video of him tripping a fan last year.)

The only thing that could follow up a solid Braves win is one of the all-time best episodes of Seinfeld, "The Frogger," on Peachtree TV.
- @bravesphoto

In the Clubhouse Store... Um... Why is this pin of @JasonHeyward white?
- @BravesLove

Best picture of @FreddieFreeman of all time #braves
- @inthecalzone

Pretending like the president said things he didn't to get people confused

In a perfect world RT @PresidentObama Here's the thing: I'm President, and I'll speak when I want, and most of you can suck my dick.
- @JohnRossBowie

No. RT @BarackObama: Is the song "Piano Man" about a guy who is actually part piano, like a monster?
- @RobDelaney

Are you serious? RT @BarackObama: Is there such a thing as a Giraffula? Like a giant giraffe/tarantula? Man, I hope not.
- @RobDelaney

WTF? RT @BarackObama: Do you guys think deaf people should be allowed to own property?
- @RobDelaney

Just Plain Funny

I unfollowed the Dalai Lama. Just because I think it's funny to unfollow the Dalai Lama. Also he isn't following me. So whatever.
- @adamlevine

when did I start thinking punching the air in front of me is a legitimate dance move? HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN DOING THIS. so embarrassing.
- @MrMoisture

Trail mix proves I'll put pretty much anything in my mouth if there's the possibility of getting one stray m&m.
- @behindyourback

Watched a man jokingly try to "return" his screaming children at Walgreens today. Confused, humorless clerk: "you can't do that here, sir."
- @EmilyOsment

Sweet/weird thing people do on store-bought wedding cards: Underline key words. Like, oh, you wish me EVERY happiness? ALL of them? OK!
- @RachaelMaddux

Peyton's Two!

2011-08-26T07:55:00.003-04:00

My baby niece, the daughter of my life-long friend Beth, has turned 2. I finally understand what all the old people were saying when I was a kid and they'd talk about how big I was getting. I seriously can't believe it's been two years since my childhood friend, my best friend, had a baby.

After a slight hiatus from photography, Peyton inspired me to pick up the camera again. She's too pretty not to photograph!

This is still possibly my favorite picture I've ever taken of her. She was about 8 months old, and something about the sun that day just made her eyes glow.

But now, about a year and a half later, she's walking and talking and she's almost as tall as I am!

Day 5 - Declare your love for an uncool movie

2011-08-20T03:30:00.004-04:00

For the 30 Days of Shamelessness

I love musicals. I was raised on them because my mom didn't want to deal with watching awful kids movies. Early 90s kids movies? I didn't see almost any of them. I didn't see Free Willy until about 2 weeks ago. I only saw Home Alone because my French teacher in high school had a copy of it dubbed into French. Still haven't seen it in English. But we watched Sound of Music almost every day and if you hum a few notes from any movie musical I can probably identify it. I still love these movies, and most days if you ask my favorite movie of all time, I'll answer that it's Meet Me in St. Louis with Judy Garland. (I visited St. Louis a few years ago and may have spent most of my visit singing "The Trolley Song.") So you could say that's pretty uncool.

There are other movies that I love, not just because of my childhood memories, that other people really dislike. Titanic, for one. Also, Steel Magnolias. I could quote that movie all day long. If I had the wit of those women, I'd be a millionaire. "I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood 40 years!"

The Emperor's New Groove is the best Disney movie of the new millennium. That movie makes me laugh like nothing else in the world. Wanna talk about uncool? My idea of the perfect 18th birthday was watching The Emperor's New Groove with my best friend while eating sub sandwiches. That was it. That's all I needed. I'm a nerd.

Day 4 - Waste Time

2011-08-16T18:51:00.003-04:00

For 30 Days of Shamelessness

Day 4 is to waste time. Great! That's my specialty. When I'm not working on photography stuff or searching for jobs, most of my time could be considered "wasted." I watch almost every Braves game, spend too much time online, and sometimes sleep a lot. That's the thing about not being in school or having a job, most of what I do is just wasting time. I'm actually really focused on building up the photography business (Anne and Ren Photography, if you're out of the loop) and it feels like I apply to 8 million jobs every day.

But sometimes Ren and I watch 5 episodes in a row of That 70's Show. Sometimes it's eerily relavent to our lives.
Laurie: "I've decided to major in philosophy."
Eric: "Oh good, because they've just opened up that philosophy factory in Green Bay."

Between Ren and I: History, Art History, Anthropology, Philosophy
Yeah, you could call us "liberal artists." Or "time wasters."

Belated Tweets of the Week

2011-08-16T14:30:00.002-04:00

Late, as usual. But I have some good ones for ya this week!

You guys are all pretty stupid if you think planes fly without magic
- @sbellelauren

Ever wonder if what CSPAN shows us is a lie and Congress is actually a Rollerball-ish gladiator arena where laws are birthed by combat?
- @thetaylorcarr

If you're not counting calories, everything contains zero calories! That means you can eat as much as you want!
-@markleggett

Blowing out candles on a birthday cakes seems kind of unsanitary.
- @riverscuomo

"For every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing." - @NietzscheQuotes
Response: "Tacos Nietzche, they're called TACOS."
- @SarahMadden

Using a remote control is the closest most of us get to being wizards.
- @KellyOxford

The Dow rebounded today! I say we end America right now on a good note.
- @StephenAtHome

The two-year-old is putting herself in a time-out. I don't have the heart to tell her how stupid that is.
- @dooce

Oh sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of buying beer on Sunday.
- @anneiled (who just moved to Wisconsin for grad school and is doing a good job of convincing all of us that Wisconsin is better than Georgia)

It's a good thing Yoda vanished when he passed away. How depressing would it be to toss that sad wrinkly little corpse into a swamp?
- @MarkLeggett

Ever since they started selling sushi, salads, and stuff like that at ballparks, this wave thing got out of control.
- @DaleMurphy3 (YES, the wave sucks.)

Scariest Corporate Tweet - Divorce by Mayonaisse
Getting hitched? Getting ditched? Tell us how MW makes or breaks your relationship for a chance to get $25k towards a marriage or divorce. - @MiracleWhip

Favorite Trending Topic: #NewNebraskaSlogan
"That Smell is Iowa" - @badbanana
"Keep Driving to Colorado, Hippie" - @badbanana
"You Forgot About Us Again, Didn't you?" - @badbanana
"Nope. This is it." - @mrbigfists
"You can't text and drive if you don't have a signal" - @mrbigfists
"We were too lazy to make it to California." - @dascolo
"Wait! Come back!" - @delrayser

eyes

2011-08-16T12:43:00.002-04:00

eyes, a photo by anne:_ on Flickr.

Entering this photo into a weekly contest at I Heart Faces. The way Peyton's eye color pops in this photo is just incredible. By the way, she turns two tomorrow. She was only 8 months old here. What happened to my baby?!

Best of Atlanta - Art Galleries

2011-08-16T11:05:00.003-04:00

5. Beep Beep Gallery
Conveniently located across the street from the Ponce Krispy Kreme, Beep Beep may be tiny, but they pack a lot of talent, collaboration, and personality into the small space. Live bands play for most openings and other events, and most of the art comes from young local talent. If you want unique pieces for a lower price while supporting local artists, buy stuff from Beep Beep.

4. Young Blood Gallery and Boutique
Right next to a bike shop and a cupcake shop (ok, where's the conspiracy for Atlanta galleries always being right next to a place with super delicious baked goods??) This is where to go if you want to shop. Young Blood features all sorts of things made by Atlanta artists. T-shirts, place mats, aprons, plates, cups, bags, notebooks, jewelry, and of course lots of decorative items. You can also look at and buy more traditional art pieces (paintings, photographs, sculptures.) The prices are incredibly reasonable for the fact that these are all uniquely made items, and I love going here to find Christmas gifts.
Sidenote: A couple years ago a painting that my genius friend Morgan Victoria did of me was displayed at Young Blood and was actually bought at the gallery opening, so I never got to see the finished painting in person.

3. MINT Gallery
I mainly know about this place because of friends who have had their work shown here. It's nearly impossible to find unless you know what you're looking for, but once you find it, you won't care about the time you spent wandering around looking for it. Another tiny space, but every time I've been there it's been covered in art from floor to ceiling and the atmosphere lends itself well to conversation while still focusing on the art. Creative Loafing called it the "ground zero for projects from Atlanta's emerging creatives." I have to agree - there's always some really weird stuff at MINT, but we definitely need a place for that.

2. The Goat Farm
An urban revitalization project on the Westside, The Goat Farm is a space made by artists, for artists. Auditoriums for performance art, tons of studio space for renting and/or wandering, and even a small menagerie of farm animals. This is truly an artist enclave. So many different types of people collaborate on this non-profit project that there's always something going on, and it always varies. There are welding workshops, galleries for displaying visual art, performances of plays written and produced by small theater troupes, and concerts by local bands.

1. Atlanta itself
Seems corny, right? But it's true. In addition to art itself evolving with our culture, the way we look at art is evolving too. Most of the art we see every day is on the internet, but artists are adapting the way they display their work to change the way we think about it. Why do we need a physical object when we can look at it on the computer, download and print it ourselves, all for free? One of my favorite answers to this is the Catlanta project. The artist makes tons of unique cat magnets and decals using the same basic template and then hides them all over the city. He then posts hints and pictures on flickr and twitter to help people find them. So it's become a city-wide scavenger hunt for people to be the first to get the hints, solve them, and go snag the kitty. Catlanta has not revealed their identity, much like a graffiti artist, which only adds to the "fun factor." Catlanta has found a way to engage the public to get excited about art and to desire their own coveted kitty magnet. I could relay a million more examples of Atlanta artists forgoing the typical modes of displaying art as an experiment or just to use media in such a new and different way. But I'll let you learn about others on your own.

Day 3 - Eat

2011-08-13T06:08:00.004-04:00

For 30 Days of Shamelessness

For me, eating typically involves a good bit of shame. But I ate those damn Cheez-Its like it was nothin'. And you know what? They were delicious.

Day 2 - Look a Fool

2011-08-12T04:20:00.003-04:00

So far 2 for 2 on the 30 days of shamelessness! I'm awesome.

Day 2 is super easy for me. Look a fool? Story of my life, bro!

Ren and I just went swimming, so my hair's a hot mess. But this is what I look like in my natural state. Braves shirt, making weird faces, trying to be cool.

Day 1 - Declare your love for an uncool tv show

2011-08-11T11:18:00.004-04:00

First post from the 30 Days of Shamelessness list.

I'll admit, most of the TV I love isn't cool. Sure, some of my favorites are popular shows - I mean, who doesn't love The Office and Bones? But my true loves, the shows I crave and obsess over, are typically pretty awful.

Stage 1 - All My Soaps
I grew up watching soap operas with my mom, and when I had surgery that left me homebound for a couple months and discovered the wonders of the internet, this turned into an obsession. From the ages 14 to about 17, my life revolved around soap operas - I still have a ridiculous amount of knowledge on the subject that I wish had been pushed out in college. It was a sick kind of dependence. I remember one day crying and getting into a big fight with my mother because I came home from school and the VCR hadn't recorded my shows. I would consider that rock bottom. I haven't had that kind of obsession with anything since then, and I'm glad I got it out of the way on something relatively harmless when I was young. But soap operas are pretty much my benchmark for television. Before that I only watched kids shows and then I had a TV-watching drought that lasted a few years after. I got sucked back into watching TV by roommates who were obsessed with House, and it wasn't long before I found other quality shows that I loved. It also wasn't long before my inherent love for bad TV found its way back into my life.

Stage 2 - Disney Channel vs life
College was incredibly stressful, to say the least, and Disney Channel ended up being the perfect form of escapism for me. I was an oddball because I almost never drank while in college and I didn't smoke pot - Hannah Montana was my drug. Through the wonders of the internet I could watch any episode I wanted whenever I wanted. And you know, sometimes watching a show where an international pop star trying to be a normal kid has trouble studying for her science test is the best antidote to the pressure of midterms. Including a video from that episode because I still find it incredibly entertaining.

Luckily my good friend Emily Grim also had a weakness for the Disney Channel, so I had someone to share my love with. While Hannah Montana was my hands-down favorite, I also watched my fair share of Wizards of Waverly Place, The Suite Life, and Sonny with a Chance. This all fizzled out in the last semester of my senior year. In fact, even when my beloved Hannah Montana ended, I had to catch up on about 6 episodes I'd missed before the finale!

Stage 3 - Anne Gets Cable
Last summer when school was over, my Disney Channel obsession had waned, and I had a room with a cable TV for the first time since high school, I got hooked on the crystal meth of television - reality shows. Unlike when I'm watching tv online where I have anything to choose from, with an actual physical TV box with cable I felt obligated to watch something that was playing right then. This led to watching a lot of awful reality shows on TLC just because of the trainwreck factor. I eventually found myself looking for when 19 Kids and Counting or Toddlers & Tiaras were on so that I could watch, wide-eyed and mouth gaping. The other thing I discovered was reruns. There are all of these shows that I didn't care about when they were on originally, but having them back to TV seems glorious! Probably my absolute most shameful TV moment was when I rescheduled plans with a friend because I didn't want to be out of the house during ABC Family's block of Reba reruns. Of all shows for me to get hooked on, it had to be the damn Reba McIntyre sitcom? I was comfortable with watching That 70's Show and I was comfortable with watching Married... With Children. I was even comfortable with how much I'd grown to love My Name Is Earl. But having the actual desire to watch two hours of Reba every day was just too much.

Stage 4 - Baseball and a Blend of Quirks (Current stage)
I started dating Ren during my Reba detox. Luckily a shared love of the Braves, the approaching baseball postseason, and the fact that there's a baseball game every day were my savior. As October neared and the postseason loomed, I started to worry what I would do once the season was over - and it ended up being over fairly quickly for the Braves. Luckily, Ren has a Netflix account and a Wii to access it from the TV, so this took out the must-watch-what-is-on-cable factor. But it added the ability to marathon any tv show we wanted. As with any new relationship, we both wanted to play it cool so we ended up watching The Office and 30 Rock a lot at the beginning there. But we got more comfortable and the quirks came out. Ren loves Adult Swim. I'm a big fan of King of the Hill, but I can't get into any of the other shows. She's tried over and over, but we usually end up falling back on our shared love of the Hill family. When she's being extra generous, Ren will watch an episode or two of Glee with me, and I forced her to watch every episode of Arrested Development. At some point we discovered a shared loved for Intervention. A trainwreck reality show about addiction, this show is probably our biggest vice. Sometimes we binge on it, watching a few episodes a day for a few days in a row until we just can't take it anymore. But then we'll take a break and one night, while trying to decide what to watch, one of us will bring it up - almost in the tone that one would suggest something illegal and dangerous... "Heroin," one of us will say. We always start with a heroin episode, which tends to keep us from watching too much. The heroin episodes tend to have an intensity that sends us running back to Hank Hill with his propane and propane accessories.

So there it is. No holds barred. All of my shameful TV loves, presented together. Don't get me wrong - I actually have little shame for any of this (except maybe Reba.) I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for my soap operas; in fact, a small piece of my heart broke off when ABC announced they were canceling All My Children. And I definitely think that I watched the best era of Disney Channel Original Programming with Hannah Montana and Wizards of Waverly Place. And so what if I can name every Duggar kid in order? We all have our flaws.

Because I haven't talked about myself in a while

2011-08-11T10:58:00.003-04:00

I got this list of 30 ideas for blog posts from Deana and Lance. It's called the 30 days of shamelessness, and, well, I'm typically pretty shameless so it seemed perfect! The likelihood of me getting through all 30? Especially in consecutive days? Not high. But maybe some of these ideas will pop up on this blog every once in a while.

declare your love for an uncool TV show.
look a fool.
eat. Whatever you feel like eating.
waste time.
declare your love for an uncool movie.
act “girly” or “manly” in a way you’d normally avoid.
share your efforts at something you don’t think you do well.
sweat.
expose something messy or dirty you’d usually hide.
declare your love for an uncool band.
dress to show some skin.
share about a health struggle.
speak up about something crap that was done to you.
hold yourself accountable — not guilty — for something crappy you did to someone else.
dress, walk, and act like you know you’re all that.
spend money on a non-necessity or share a financial struggle.
discuss the reality of your work situation.
brag.
share details about a bodily function or fluid.
talk about sex
express a strong feeling.
set a boundary.
air one of your secrets.
share a struggle you have yet to “just get over.”
ask for help.
make a mistake.
express a dissenting opinion.
discuss a failure.
look a fool.
name 3 more ways you can live shamelessly and commit to doing them…

Best of Atlanta - Graffiti

2011-08-09T01:20:00.003-04:00

"Watson, Welcome to the World"

I'm biased, but the dad of my friend's baby did this art when the baby was born.

Best of Atlanta - Overlooked Tourist Spot

2011-08-07T17:08:00.002-04:00

The Wren's Nest. No question.

Best of Atlanta - Neighborhoods

2011-08-07T13:47:00.001-04:00

3. Grant Park
Delicious restaurants, Zoo Atlanta, the Cyclorama, and Oakland Cemetery. So basically: noms, caged animals, romantized views of a brutal war, and dead people. Hooray!

2. Candler Park
My de facto home for 4 years was right across the train tracks from Candler Park, and I love the place. There are lots of delicious places to eat, cute places to walk around, access to Little 5 Points, and of course proximity to the Edgewood Retail District (TARGET! It's important, y'all.)

1. Decatur
I know it's its own city, but still. The place is perfect. People from all walks of life. Any food options you could want. Walkable. Plus Agnes Scott, duh.

*I refuse to include East Atlanta Village because it's covered in hipsters and they closed my favorite mexican restaurant, La Casita.

Best of Atlanta - Local Bloggers

2011-08-07T01:41:00.005-04:00

5. Decatur Metro
This was my main news source when I lived in Decatur. It's truly an excellent source.

4. Atlanta Street Fashion
Relatively new on the scene. I may not always agree with what they find fashionable, but I still love seeing what people are wearing around Atlanta!

3. AsianCajuns
Also from my alma mama, Agnes Scott

2. The Wren's Nest - Nation's Most Exciting House Museum
I swear they only pay me in the occasional diet coke or delicious sandwich to promote them.

1. Um me, obviously

Tweets of the Shark Week

2011-08-06T13:47:00.002-04:00

Dear World: go ahead. Have at it. Mock us. We pretty much deserve it. -@standupkid

If I had telekinesis, I'd always be pulling farts out of people against their will. - @paulscheer

Happy Birthday @BarackObama! We didn't buy you a present because a lot of us are unemployed. Yours, America. - @TheDailyShow

Are you ever pretty convinced your an idiot savant you just haven't figured out what you're a savant at yet? - @chantalclaret

Was watching SharkWeek and almost called @abiander to talk about how scary sharks are then got this overwhelming fear that they can hear me. - @TaylorSwift13

~~~~~^~~\O/~~~~~RT @PeterMoylan: Falling asleep to #sharkweek a sure way to have your first nightmare in years!! - @Braves illustrating @PeterMoylan's fears

Music I'm Into Lately

2011-08-06T00:15:00.003-04:00

Taking a break from the "Best of Atlanta" to share the music I've been listening to recently. I like some pretty terrible music - not gonna lie. Disney Channel is my jam, and I'll make no apologies for it. But trust me when I say that I know good music from the catchy pop crap.

Secrets by OneRepublic

Mexico by Cake

Two Weeks in Hawaii - HelloGoodbye

Who Say - Selena Gomez and The Scene

Mean - Taylor Swift

Catch Me and Skyscraper - Demi Lovato

Do you still love me?

Best of Atlanta - Hometown Internet

2011-08-04T08:47:00.001-04:00

3. Adult Swim
Cartoon Network programming produced in Atlanta with an awesome website. Lots of great games - notably Robot Unicorn Attack!

2. Jezebel
National feminist news!

1. Scoutmob
Like groupon, but so much better.

Best of Atlanta - Place to People Watch

2011-08-03T23:24:00.004-04:00

4. Woodruff Park
Where Atlanta's homeless congregate during the day. You can see some pretty interesting characters, street preachers and chess players. But don't go at night or hang out too long. It's kind of scary.
Ren's comment: "The street preaching pimp! He's my favorite! Oh, or the woman with the big stick who's trying to rid the sidewalk of satan!"

3. Dragoncon
One weekend a year and you'll get in all the crazy you need.

2. Piedmont Park
Gays on roller blades

1. Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport
It is after all the busiest airport in the world. When I pick friends up from the airport, I like getting there early to sit in the arrivals hall (top of the escalators leading to baggage claim) and watch people. They're coming from all over the world and there are always great reunions, whether it be a woman welcoming her child home or a businessman awkwardly greeting a client he's never met.

Best of Atlanta - Athlete You've Never Heard Of

2011-08-03T18:37:00.001-04:00

At this point, I hope that you've heard of Freddie Freeman. If not, he's a Braves rookie who's ON FIRE! Clear contender for Rookie of the Year. He hasn't created as much buzz as Jason Heyward did last year, but so far he's been even better than J-Hey! He'll be a big shot very soon. I can see it.

Best of Atlanta - Local Celebrity

2011-08-03T11:25:00.003-04:00

5. Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland
Only because she shares my alma mater - Agnes Scott

4. Cee-Lo Green
For making the greatest pop song of the year, "Fuck You"

3. Chipper Jones
Uh, what kind of Braves fan would I be if I didn't include Chippy?

2. Gucci Mane
He spends a lot of time in Atlanta prisons. And has an ice cream cone tattoo.

1. Blondie
50-something stripper at the Clermont Lounge. Noted for smashing beer cans with her bosom.

Best of Atlanta - Evidence of Social Progress

2011-08-02T23:43:00.003-04:00

We're a big step closer to allowing alcohol sales on Sundays! Wooo! Welcome to the 21st century, Georgia!

Urban gardening and sharing with neighbors become more popular.

More opportunities for the homeless in Atlanta.

Best of Atlanta - Person You Love to Hate

2011-08-02T20:12:00.003-04:00

Ex-school board superintendent Beverly Hall. Sure, she left Atlanta Public schools in ruins, but she's so ridiculous that I loved hearing about what she was up to. Investigative report comes out? Woops! Vacation in Maui, can't comment. Says she didn't know about the cheating? "Oh sorry, you mean THAT cheating? Yeah... I knew about that." Offers full support in investigation? Not until after she shreds all the damning evidence.

Not listing multiple people. Beverly Hall is enough crazy for me.

Best of Atlanta - Bizarro News Story

2011-08-02T12:30:00.005-04:00

5. Gay Cemetery Downtown

4. No more old video games at the Plaza Theater
Soooo... There's no reason to go now, right?

3.Georgia tries to dupe us into getting religious license plates

2. Monkey escapes from Emory

And of course, the very best:
1. Atlanta Public Schools exposed for rampant cheating on standardized tests. Also they're broke.

These are off the top of my head. Can anyone else think of anything ridiculous that's happened in Atlanta this year?

Best of Atlanta

2011-08-02T10:09:00.005-04:00

Every year a few local publications (Creative Loafing and Atlanta Magazine, most notably) do a feature on "The Best of Atlanta." Creative Loafing just closed voting for 2011, but the results won't be up until late September. I figured I'd do my own best of Atlanta with my own favorite things (with Ren's opinions probably scattered throughout) because there are a lot of places that get overlooked in the more official features (for example, I love The Vortex, but I think there are definitely better burgers in Atlanta.) And I can add my own commentary. Because what's a blog if not a platform to share one's own unpopular opinions?

It's true that I've never lived anywhere else, but I love my hometown. A whole whole lot.

Reading and Laundering

2011-07-31T23:59:00.002-04:00

Ren and I have spent the past few days rereading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows an doing laundry/cleaning. We each have our own copy of Harry Potter so we can read at our own pace. Best weekend ever? I think so.

Nate McLouth's hair only gets worse

2011-07-31T22:04:00.007-04:00

My post about Nate McLouth's hair is still the most viewed post on my blog. I thought that the mid-season would be a good time for an update. Unfortunately, the news is not good.

The summer heat and humidity is doing a number on Nate's hair. You know what would help? A haircut. A batting helmet and baseball cap do him no favors at all. A few innings into a game and the hair is just NASTY.

See that hair peeking out from under the helmet? It gets all curly and frizzy and the rest of the hair is just wet and plastered to his head.

from braveslove
Look at him over on the left. What even is that hairdo? It's not 1995, Nate. Get with it.

Also from braveslove
Here's a pretty good view of the sweaty hair with the frizzy bottom. Ugh. So unattractive.

Also from braveslove
Before the game. So this is how he WANTS it to look?!

I have experience cutting hair. Seriously, if Nate needs a haircut, I'd be more than willing to help him out. You just can't have long hair like that if you're a baseball player! The ones who pull it off just go full-on lion mane and embrace the craziness. It's like Nate styles his hair not realizing it'll get messed up every day. He's got a little bit of gay in him, so you'd think he'd know these things! I've been campaigning to be his personal assistant (I need a job, he needs a woman. It works) and I think that the main area I could tackle is his godforsaken hair. I'm sure the rest of the team would appreciate it! The second thing I would implement is a mandatory "Socks Up" policy for Nate. All players should wear the long knee-high socks, but one player at a time is my plan. One player at a time...

Tweets of the Fortnight

2011-07-31T14:04:00.003-04:00

Too busy last Sunday for tweets of the week, so this is a double!

"When I was a little boy I wanted to marry a firetruck. I wound up marrying a woman named Leah. She's okay." - @robdelaney

"A woman at baggage claim just asked me watch her 5 yr old daughter for a minute. The child burst into tears. Rejection is everywhere." - @sofifii

"no, Nickelodeon, I don't want to watch shows I watched as a kid at one in the morning, my life is sad enough as is." - @thetaylorcarr

"Amy Winehouse dying is a scary reminder that Keith Richards might be a cyborg." - @MarylandMudflap

"Lost 1540 Hernando de Soto journal entry as he discovered Georgia: 'It is hotter than a 1000 suns and these savages only care for football.'" - @TLanceB

"The Olive Garden; when you're here, you're family has given up on happiness." - @OverlandParker

"It may take a village to raise a child, but it only takes one good manager to teach them to sew a pair of Nike's." - @iamnotdiddy

"Running is for people who hate themselves." - @roundtine

"heroin suppositories.. not my best idea, but easily in the top ten. Pros: no track lines. Cons: If you thought sharing needles was gross.." - @StickeeNotes

"Chipper Jones bobbleheads were just distributed in pressbox. No, they do not come with a syringe of cortisone or a scalpel." - @ajcbraves

"Thanks to Amy Winehouse we don’t have to think about all those dead Norwegian people anymore. That was exhausting." - @MikeFTW

Rest in Peace, Sullivan Hayes

2011-07-30T19:13:00.005-04:00

Sullivan was Morgan and Lizen's greyhound who fell ill and died suddenly yesterday morning. I wrote a post about him while I was in Portland a couple weeks ago: Sullivan the Greyhound

He was a champion race dog for most of his life before being rescued by Oregon Greyhound Rescue and then he was adopted by Morgan and Lizen last fall. After a lifetime of the crazy hard life of a racing dog, he lived in the lap of luxury for his last year. He was a great friend and even donated blood for other sick dogs. I'm not a dog person at all, but I think it's really important to treat animals with respect and love. Please visit Citizens Against Greyhound Racing to learn how you can help spread the word about ending greyhound racing. And if you're in the market for a dog, please consider a retired racer! They're the perfect pet, and after years of forced labor, they deserve to finish their lives with a loving family. Stepping off the soapbox to post some crazy cute pictures of Sullivan in memory of his short (7 years) life.

Sul and I shared the backseat on the drive from Whidbey Island to Portland.

He was the ringbearer in Morgan and Lizen's wedding.

Cuddling with his best friend Giuseppe.

Twinz

"Mom, can't we just turn on the heat? I look retarded."

Jar Jar Binks dog

Sheriff Sul

Morgan, Sul, and the little dog

Family Photo

Lack of Posting

2011-07-28T07:09:00.005-04:00

Due to these factors:
- Hanging out with Nia and Jamie in Oregon since I only see them roughly once a year
- Acquiring a horrific stomach bug my last night in Oregon
- A day long transcontinental flying experience while recovering from said stomach bug
- Re-acclimating to life in Atlanta, dealing with unfinished business
- An epic Braves game that swallowed a good chunk of my life
- Ren catching the horrific stomach bug and me being a good girlfriend and taking care of her

Regular updates soon. I'll leave you with this picture of me and Llewella lounging when I didn't feel well.

Baseball Quotes - Managers

2011-07-26T02:11:00.003-04:00

"There are 3 things the average man thinks he can do better than anyone else: build a fire, run a hotel, and manage a baseball team." - Rocky Bridges

(But when Bobby Cox says it, he's right."

Baseball Quotes - Spitball

2011-07-25T02:09:00.002-04:00

"Let them revive the spitter and help pitchers make a living." - Casey Stengel

Baseball Quotes - Curve Ball

2011-07-24T02:06:00.002-04:00

"I don't know who the fellow was who came up with the first curve ball. I don't know when or where. But whoever he was, when he did it he took all the joy out of baseball." - Burt Shotten

Baseball Quotes - Ego

2011-07-23T02:02:00.002-04:00

"I mean, it's unheard of for somebody to hit 70 home runs. I'm slightly in awe of myself." - Mark McGwire

(the steroids probably helped a little)

Baseball Quotes - LOLmets

2011-07-22T01:56:00.002-04:00

"Come out and see my Amazin' Mets! I been in the game a hundred years but I see new ways to lose I never knew existed before." - Casey Stengel

Awful Craigslist Post - Room for Rent

2011-07-21T13:26:00.000-04:00

Free Rent for Female Roommate

Female needs a roommate to assist with body rubs.
I have a lot of clients and I am looking extra help.
Roommate must be 18 years of age, female and comfortable with body rubs.
You will live rent and utility free.
Send a picture and contact information for immediate consideration.

Oh, so you need another prostitute? You aren't fooling anyone with that "body rub" BS.

Baseball quotes - Serious Business

2011-07-21T01:54:00.001-04:00

"Baseball isn't a life-and-death matter, but the Red Sox are." - Mike Barnicle

Craigslist Discusses the APS Cheating Scandal

2011-07-21T00:22:00.003-04:00

Atlanta Public Schools
Only in Atlanta

Yes, only in Atlanta because Atlanta is where Atlanta Public School System is.

Teachers and cheating
I saw this on 60 minutes a couple years ago and couldnt believe it. NYC has a lot of bad apple teachers and a strong union. the union runs the system. Period. If you are an NYC union teacher and you molest a kid or do other stupid shit, you cannot be fired at all. Instead they have to reassign them to their version of remedial teaching which is a building they all go to for 8 hrs a day. and get to sleep, fuck off, masturbate or whatever they want. they are also immune from charges made by the schools or anyone else. To top it all off, they still get full salaries and benefits and retirement. Just go hang out and stay away from the kids. Even if a teacher is convicted of a felony that lands him or her in prison, they cannot be fired. Check it out, it's real and headed our way.

So if APS is unionized then the kids will be molested instead of the teachers just falsifying tests?

The Atlanta cheating scandal
I think the politically correct way to address the cheating scandal is to give da black kids different tests. Questions like -who were the major characters on the Cosby show? or Name all of the black contestants on the current American Idol. or What is the number one Hip Hop song in America. or Where is the best place to get some 22 inch rims for your Hooptie. or Why is it a crime to snitch on your neighbors in da hood? or How low are you supposed to sag your pants? Are you getting the picture? You see black people have their own set of morals and when we try to pretend like they are members of civilized society we get punished.

I'm done. I can't read anymore of this drivel.

Baseball quotes - Alcohol

2011-07-20T01:52:00.001-04:00

"Of all the teams I played on, the Yankees were the team that drank the most." - Joe De Maestri

Llewella Loves Harry Potter

2011-07-19T23:19:00.003-04:00

I sent Llew this onesie when she was born. I got one for Emersen too. It says "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Love it!

Today Morgan and I drove down to the bustling metropolis of Junction City, OR where Nia and Jamie live. Morgan and I have been having way too much fun taking pictures of the baby and giving them Harry Potter captions.

"Hagrid's hut smells like dragon farts."

"DEMENTORS!"

Nia "Greyback" Reyes eats baby hands.

"GOD DAMN YOU, ROWLING! YOU KILLED EVERYONE I LOVE IN A SINGLE CHAPTER!"

"Not Dobby!!"

"I hate Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans. I always get dirt."

"Sometimes I remember that Hedwig died. Then I get kind of sad."

"Oh my god, Snape was good all along?!"

Awful Craigslist Post - Pregnant

2011-07-19T16:52:00.001-04:00

Section: Men seeking Women
Pregnant
We have sex as many times as it takes for you to get pregnant, and then I am gone unless you want me in the picture
If you want to have a baby with or without the father in the picture e-mail me

Send me a pic and a little about you if interested
I will do the same upon your reply

Whaaaa--?

Baseball quotes - Yogi Berra

2011-07-19T01:50:00.001-04:00

"It ain't like football. You can't make up no trick plays." - Yogi Berra

Gay Disney Villains

2011-07-18T16:21:00.003-04:00

Morgan and I realized this afternoon that all Disney villains are flaming queers. Want proof?

Hades from Hercules - Drag queen

Gaston from Beauty and the Beast - closeted and overcompensating

Captain Hook from Peter Pan - Likes cute little feminine boys

Jafar from Aladdin - Tim Gunn's alter-ego

Ursula from The Little Mermaid - old and bitter lesbian

Cruella deVille from 101 Dalmatians - Suze Orman + Anne Heche

Professor Ratigan from The Great Mouse Detective - COME ON!!!

And Scar - the clear winner

Disney, I think you're sending a clear message that gay people are evil. And yet, I like it.

Awful Craigslist Post - Bored

2011-07-18T14:22:00.002-04:00

(You missed the craigslist posts, right? I knew it...)

Section: Strictly Platonic
Me and my girl are trying to get drunk tonight - mw4mw (25) - Cumming
we got a car, just no booze. we are bored as shit here.

Welp, ya do live in Cumming, so no wonder you're bored!

Baseball Quotes

2011-07-18T01:44:00.002-04:00

I got a book of baseball quotes the other day. Some of them are pretty spectacular. And since this is my blog where I start random series of posts that fizzle out after a few weeks, I'm gonna do a quote-a-day. Let's see how long it lasts. The book is called The Baseball Fanatic: The Best Things Ever Said about the Greatest Game Ever Invented.

"I love baseball too much to do anything else. When the season is over, I'm grouchy all the time. I feel miserable. I'm always sick. I get imaginary pains, like a baby. Only when spring training comes around and I can put the uniform back on do the pains go away." - Woody Huyke

Baseball Hair

2011-07-18T00:40:00.004-04:00

You may remember my post about Nate McLouth's Hair. I keep meaning to do a Braves hair post, and this rainy evening seems to be the perfect time for it. It's hard to find pictures of their hair because the players are always in hats, but I'll do my best. All pictures come from the AJC unless otherwise noted.

Nate McLouth still has douchey hair.

This has been the season of the Braves Brohawk. About half the team has it...

There's Tommy Hanson who has red lion hair. One day he'll cut it. Maybe. He also has beard issues.

My boy Freddie Freeman. God love him, but he still hasn't found a good hairstyle.

And then there's Tim Hudson

Also,
Peter Moylan, I love you.

Portlandia

2011-07-17T20:07:00.005-04:00

that's solid ice the size of a hummer. IN JULY.

I don't feel like writing stuff. So here are some pictures from Portland and Mt Hood. Mt Hood is one of the biggest mountains on the continent, but it did a damn good job of hiding from me.

Tweets of the Week

2011-07-17T11:53:00.004-04:00

"i should have gotten 5 tickets to harry potter so i could lay across 5 seats. i wish they had beds. imagine if i designed movie theatres." - @break_the_sky

"You know those moments when you happen to notice it's the *perfect* temperature, and suddenly nothing else matters? Total suicide-deterrent." - @CliftonsNotes

"The sexy smurfette makes me feel uncomfortable. If she does a Maxim cover I think I'll have to cancel my loyal subscription." - @OliviaWilde

"just realized that if me and my co-workers were in a horror movie I'd be the asshole that thinks he's funny that dies twenty minutes in." - @thetaylorcarr

"Jeter's mentally exhausted. You know, after being Jeter and all." - @fltankgirl711

"Is this how you go planking?"- @NotBrooksConrad

"Trying to think of a new slogan for the U.S. So far I have, America: The only country where homeless people are fat." - @anjeanettec

"B.Wilson will still be at the airport being checked for shoe bombs when the 9th inning of the All Star game rolls around"
- @FriedBaseballATL

What I've Been Doing In Portland

2011-07-15T04:40:00.001-04:00

1. Missing Ren

2. Cuddling with Ares, the cuddliest cat in the world. The only cat I've ever met who hugs back.
3. Bonding with Lauretta, my feline counterpart.

4. Marveling over the pretty city.

5. Finding weird things like a swing in Nat's front yard that someone had left a plastic sword on.

6. Taking Nat, aka Gimpy Foot, to the doctor.

7. Playing with Morgan

8. Hanging out with Erica, even though we both live in Atlanta. But we never see one another.

9. Eating really delicious foods.

And 10. Being super cold. What's up, Portland? It's July, right?

Sullivan the Greyhound

2011-07-14T04:07:00.002-04:00

Here are some comics Morgan made about her dog Sullivan. This is basically what I'm living with on this trip. Also, Morgan's awesome.

Till the Very End

2011-07-13T14:18:00.003-04:00

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part II comes out tomorrow. I'm kind of a Harry fanatic. I can't believe that it's almost over... It's been a dominant force for the past 11-ish years of my life. Bonded with friends over it, dressed as Hermione for Halloween events (always a quick, easy idea for me), read parts of the books when I was sad. I got tickets for the midnight showing for Morgan and Lizen's wedding present (plus a ticket for myself, of course.) I'm pretty sure I've gone to every midnight showing except maybe the first two. I got all the books the day they came out and devoured them within a couple days. Oh Harry, love of my life. Can't believe this is the end.

Here are some random pictures I've found from my life that refer to Harry Potter

The onesie I got for Emersen's first birthday.

The Fritz girls, Stephane, and me before Goblet of Fire. God, we look nerdy!

Reading aloud on the beach in St. Pete with Dani and Alex.

A comic Morgan drew about the Chamber of Secrets. Nia's burps ruin everything!

A very grumpy picture of me, Nia, Betsy, and Ryan at Tybee. I'm pretty sure every shirt Nia wore on that trip referred to Harry Potter in some way.

Savannah Sidewalk Arts Festival (that I didn't actually attend.)

All the Pets

2011-07-13T02:35:00.004-04:00

Morgan and Lizen have 2 cats and 2 dogs. Their roommate has 2 cats. So basically I'm staying in the Vancouver Zoo for the next week. I had to stock up on zyrtec and benedryl today to combat this issue, since I'm allergic to both cats and dogs. I've successfully convinced all the animals to love me. Ares, Lizen's cat, even cuddled with me allllll last night. So adorable. I realized this evening that 24 hours in Portland and every picture I've taken has had a pet in it. Today was dreary and Morgan and I were tired, so we didn't do a whole lot. The rest of my trip should be significantly more exciting.

Sullivan the massive Greyhound. He's kind of dumb.

Giuseppe, the part-chihuahua tiny mutt puppy who can be a pain in the butt.

Lauretta, she's my favorite. We're kindred spirits.

Ares, the cuddliest cat ever.

Tweets of the Week

2011-07-10T05:39:00.002-04:00

I will have massive wedding photo post soon. I'm just pooped and wedding'd out right now. So my favorite tweets of this past week!

"Can you imagine what marta train operator job interviews are like? so mumbly" - @anneiled

"You can't turn into a crazy cat lady if you're hot, right?"
also
"Catholics are real weird sometimes." - @PluckyChicken

"Today is a very special day for people who like to pretend they need a reason to get drunk and blow shit up." - @Lifecoachers

"It's no longer rude to surf the internet while someone is talking to you, right?" - @natashaleggero

Photos of the Day

2011-07-09T00:35:00.007-04:00

Totally exhausted from a day of travel (Atlanta --> Seattle --> Whidbey Island) so no real post right now. Or probably this weekend at all. Because tomorrow is Morgan and Lizen's wedding! Eeeeek!

Right after getting off the plane in Seattle, waiting for the shuttle to the island.

I rested a little while once arriving, but mostly I just made Morgan and Lizen's dog Giuseppe my best friend. Because seriously, is that not the cutest dog ever?

I'm broke from planning this trip, so my wedding present is me being there. Morgan and Lizen were surprisingly delighted by this present. Probably because I look silly.

I've been taking lots of pictures and have plenty to share. It's so beautiful out here that I could never describe it and a cell phone picture wouldn't do it justice.

My initial reaction to Whidbey Island: "There's a family of bald eagles living behind the house and a pod of orcas off the bay. Where the hell am I? This place can't be real."

Weddin' time!

2011-07-07T09:59:00.003-04:00

I leave bright and early tomorrow morning to go to Whidbey Island in Washington State for my best friend's wedding. I'll be in Washington until Monday, when I'll go down to Portland to stay with Morgan and her then-wife to visit for a while. Then Tuesday the 19th I'll take a train down to Junction City (Near Eugene) to see Nia and her itty bitty baby Llewella. I fly back to Atlanta on the 23rd. I'm really excited and REALLY nervous about this trip. I spend so much time at home, and almost all of my time with Ren, so two weeks where I'm 3000 miles away from my own home and Ren is kind of daunting. Initially, I had my own hotel room on the island for this weekend, and I was really anxious about the idea of being alone in a strange place. Luckily, my friends are slackers and my old roommate Ali asked me just yesterday if she could share the room. The rest of the trip I'll be at the homes of two of my closest friends, so that's less terrifying. I spent two weeks (one in Chicago followed by one in Las Vegas) with Nia last summer, and having someone you trust while in a brand new place is so comforting! I know it'll turn out fine. I just get nervous.

Picking out something to wear to the wedding was near-impossible. It's an afternoon wedding on the beach, but it's basically in Canada so it'll be cold! A couple days ago I put poor Ren through the misery of me going through everything in my closet trying to find something to wear. A lot of my clothes don't fit anymore because of the weight I've gained since being in eating disorder recovery, and that's always really frustrating in itself. And of course I thought I looked fat and hideous in everything I put on. I finally decided on a dress - I think. I'm still really self-conscious about it, but I need to step outside my comfort zone. I just hate the constant battle of picking out clothes. I would wear sweatpants and oversize t-shirts every day if I could. Alas!

Anyway, this is Morgan and Lizen's day. So hopefully no one will be paying attention to me.

Tweets of the Week

2011-07-03T15:37:00.002-04:00

I real all the tweets so you don't have to! These are my top 10 favorites from the week, in no particular order.

I would be terrified to make a documentary of my life, for fear it might come across as a live-action adaptation of "Cathy". - @thetaylorcarr

Take a wet blanket off the roof of a hot shed, throw it over you, and go about your work. You now know our weather.GA1899 - @tweetsofold

My goal in life is to never look as smug as those guys toasting at the end of the Cheers intro. - @richmckay

I hope Michelle Bachmann's constant gaffes don't distract people from the fact that Bachmann is a legit terrible person. - @drpuppykiller

I think it would be more entertaining if we let celebrities write their memoirs without a ghostwriter. Or an editor. Or spellcheck. - @pluckychicken

Thank you, pajama jeans commercial, for being the most hopeful and positive thing I've seen during the Casey Anthony trial on HLN. - @biggsjason

Just so everyone is aware: If your kid drowns in the family pool, you totally don't have to hide the body. #CaseyAnthony - @kellyoxford

“Now this is what I call pod racing!” has been my catchphrase for every situation since 1999. My friends are really almost warming to it. - @markleggett

Today we celebrate Canada's quiet & uneventful transition from UK dominion to independent state. on july 1, 1982.... nothing really happened - @thurnundtaxis

The iPhone will not recognize the phrase "farm work." Which, you know, makes sense. - @jessiprobus

Cheers 2011

2011-07-03T06:18:00.003-04:00

My ideas of what would happen in a remake of Cheers, set in the present day.

1. Just a bunch of people sitting in a bar checking facebook on their iphones.

2. Norm has an ironic handlebar mustache and wears cut-off jean shorts. He also has an unfortunate chinese character tattoo.

3. "I'm just here because I wanted to check-in on Foursquare." "I'm here for the free wi-fi."

4. Everyone blocks Sam and Diane on Facebook because they clog up the news feed with their ever-changing relationship status.

5. Cliff the postman is out of work and the only use for his delivery skills is with Papa Johns.

6. No one thinks it's weird for Diane to have a masters degree and only be able to find a waitress job.

7. Carla's a Jersey Shore rip-off. And instead of having 8 kids, she has a little purse dog a la Paris Hilton.

8. Diane's super irritating because she's a hipster who likes to remind everyone about her gluten intolerance.

9. There's a remake of the original theme song by Rihanna, featuring Drake.

10. Cliff and Norm are a gay couple who moved to Massachusetts to get married

11. There's a Very Special Episode with a cameo by Kirstie Alley. No one watches.

12. Wednesday's dubstep night. *whomp whomp whomp whomp*

13. Frasier's a food blogger.

Pardon my absence

2011-07-03T01:50:00.004-04:00

I know a lot of people rely on me for their daily dose of awesome and I apologize that I've been slacking recently! Things have been very hectic. I'll try to get some more doses of awesome up soon. Some of the stuff I've been up to...

1. Trying to get my poor Nissan Sentra Bucky to pass the emissions test. Bucky hasn't passed for the past couple years and I keep having to get waivers. The worst part is that he isn't failing, it just says that he's "not ready." It makes me feel like the mother of a slow kid who can't advance to the 3rd grade.

2. Watching a lot of Cheers. Ren loves Cheers so I've been humoring her. Luckily we're on Diane's last season and Ren doesn't like the show post-Diane so maybe I won't have to watch anymore. While watching today I was coming up with ideas of what a Cheers remake in 2011 would be like. Maybe I'll post that list here. That could be entertaining.

3. Screen on the Green! Got to see Willy Wonka at Piedmont Park with a whole bunch of other Atlantans. I have the mosquito bites to prove it!

4. Watching X-Men, reading X-Men stuff, talking about X-Men.

5. Preparing for my trip for Morgan's wedding! So my best friend Morgan is getting married next Saturday (SO SOON!) and the wedding is on Whidbey Island, a beautiful place just north on Seattle on the Puget Sound. I'm flying out there on Friday and will have a couple days on the island doing wedding festivities. Then I'll go back to Portland with Morgan and her fiancee (then wife!) Lizen for about a week. Then I get to go down to Eugene to visit Nia and meet her baby! I'm really excited. I'll be gone for 2 weeks and get to see a lot of people I love. I'm nervous about various aspects of travel (airports are scary!) but it should be a great vacation nonetheless.

More regular posts soon! Funny ones! Not just me talking about myself!

Craigslist Jobs - Mental Health

2011-06-27T01:37:00.000-04:00

Therapist
Busy practice in Roswell , GA area is planning to include therapists in their practice . we are heavy volume practice located in specious condo and want to have therapists on site. LCSW and PhD psychologists are encouraged to explore the opportunity . We require that perspective therapists should have unrestricted license to practice in the state of GA, have their own malpractice insurance, able work with most of the insurances, and be flexible to work with all ages, as well as families.

I think that from now on, I'm going to ask any therapists I see if they found their job on craigslist. Scratch that - any medical personnel.

Photo of the Day - June 26

2011-06-26T20:51:00.003-04:00

Ren's gonna hate me for this. I care very little because I like this picture a lot.

Awful Craigslist Post - Opera

2011-06-26T13:37:00.001-04:00

Opera
Who wants to go to the opera tonight?

Answer: no one

More Craigslist Rants and Raves

2011-06-26T01:05:00.000-04:00

Because people say the most ridiculous things.

If you vote...
for Obama you're proving to the world you don't love your children.

Oh. Ok. Is that what that means? I voted for Obama in 2008. Does that mean I don't love my kids? Wait, nevermind. I don't have kids. Carry on.

I have had way too much
coffee this morning. I am shakey and can't stay focused on one thing.

I'm sorry.

I just love the way
the m&m's, raisan and nuts all taste together in trail mix.

I always just pick out the m&ms.

My current favorite post is a long letter from a man to the guy who's sleeping with his wife. He essentially says that he doesn't mind the cheating, but set up some ground rules for the guy in the house. "I hope you can help me with these items, it may become awkward if I have to confront my wife." Pretty standard stuff (don't drink all my beer, stop messing up my La-Z boy, etc.) but one in particular made me chuckle: "Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share." I feel ya, bro. If I bake something, I don't share either!

Awful Craigslist Post - Drug Dealer Edition

2011-06-25T13:02:00.000-04:00

4:20 PM (Georgia Tech)
I've got the quality time.
Email me if you need the time.
Don't email me if you're sketchy, you'd only be wasting your time.

You did a really good job at hiding your intentions, Sir Weed Dealer. The time analogy is truly original. You should be a poet.

New York New York

2011-06-25T01:45:00.003-04:00

Tonight New York passed a bill allowing same-sex marriage, and though it's 2 am and I'm tired and don't feel like playing analyst, I feel like I should throw in my 2 cents (because really, what's a blogger except someone who feels like everyone cares about their opinions?)

It's Pride Weekend for most of the country. Georgia decided a couple years ago to combine Pride with Halloween. We're a special place. But that's beside the point - Pride is in late June to commemorate the Stonewall Riot of June 28, 1969. Police brutality and homophobia (not to mention classism, ageism, etc.) at their very best. I find it appropriate that New York, the location of the riots, has passed this massive piece of legislature on this weekend. Clearly it doesn't make up for the violence of the riots. The people who were injured and arrested, shamed and humiliated probably won't look at this and say "everything the New York government did to me is now erased!" But I hope they can at least look back and realize that fighting back was worth it and the revolution they inspired is taking an amazing form they couldn't have imagined. I hope they're proud this weekend.

Craigslist Old Man

2011-06-24T12:53:00.000-04:00

60+ mwm chat? m4m - 58
Simply enjoy the idea of chatting with mwm my age or older. Usually home alone in the mornings.
Always enjoy hearing others thoughts on life. Not sure where over 60 hang out during the day, Atlanta needs an over 60's tavern!

Old man, I would like to introduce you to Johnny's Hideaway. Not exactly a morning spot, but that's where you can find the old people. If you aren't into that (in which case, who are you???) I always see lots of old men at Dunkin Donuts.

Craigslist rants and raves - funny

2011-06-23T17:18:00.000-04:00

By far the weirdest section of Craigslist. People just post whatever comes to mind. I still haven't figured out the point, so I'm just going to assume that the objective is to make me laugh. Unfortunately, about half the posts are full of racist crap. People who hide behind the internet to spew their hate. This entry will only have funny/bizarre posts. I've been flagging all of the racist insanity. The things they say are too disgusting and degrading to have any humor value to them at all.

So many people are confused

Beer isn't the answer. Beer is the question, the answer is yes.

To all you suckers out there

I have the coolest family, greatest career, most perfect neighborhood and the greatest friends. I wish all of you could enjoy the great life I have.

Money

I want some.

Craigslist Jobs

2011-06-22T16:58:00.000-04:00

Essay Writing

Hi, I have some essays due soon. The subject matter is Criminal justice and law. I can only see the questions when I open the quizzes. These are timed. Some are 3 hours some are 4. There are questions on the quizzes, I will answer thosequestions while you answer the essays. If interested please contact me for details if you are interested.

Genius! I never would have thought to find people to do my homework for me through craigslist. But a timed, online essay? Don't you want to see the finished product that a stranger writes before you turn it in? I could tell this guy I'll do it and then just write gibberish. Then it'll be too late for him!

Awful Craigslist Personals #17

2011-06-21T20:35:00.001-04:00

virgin - (Atlanta)

Willing to pay for the pleasure of taking a virgin's virginity and having my way with her for a couple hours. The hotter you are as well as the kinkier you are willing to go the more I am willing to pay.

If you are interested email with 'virginity ' in the title, a pic, and what you are willing to do your first time and we can go from there.

I feel gross now.

Amazon Recommendations

2011-06-21T10:49:00.001-04:00

If you don't have an Amazon account that you use regularly, you're really missing out. The recommendations based on items you buy and rate are truly excellent. You can find things that interest you but never would have found yourself, but also you can find some hilarious and weird things. And a lot of them make you question what the amazon computers think of you. Here are my top 10 favorites from today's recommendations:

Do Tampons Take Your Virginity? A Catholic Girl's Memoir
Slightly intrigued, but mostly curious because of the title...

Declaration Of Independence, Constitution Of The United States Of America, Bill Of Rights And Constitutional Amendments by Benjamin Franklin
Well, first of all none of these documents were actually written by Ben Franklin. So FAIL, Amazon. And second, I already have a little book with all of this that I carry around in my bag with me wherever I go. My friend Emily gave it to me for my 21st birthday, and I'm nerdy enough to keep it handy.

Rogaine for Men
Uhhh?

Israeli Civilian Gas Mask
Now I'm just concerned about what security intelligence Amazon has that I don't. Is this something I'm gonna need?

Space Jam
Ok, so maybe this is something I'd actually buy.

Crocs Classic Sandal
This was suggested to me because I bought a Babysitters' Club book. I don't understand how my childhood nostalgia would suggest that I have bad taste in footwear, but ok.

Invicta Pro Diver Watch
Almost all of my purchases are items under $10. Why would I want a $75 watch? What's going on, Amazon?

Lies, Lies, and More Dirty Lies that the Government Tells Us
Somehow all of the books I've bought about American history makes Amazon think I'm into conspiracy theories. No thanks, Amazon. I've actually learned enough about history to know better.

Watch Mommy Die
This book seems like a great pick-me-up!

The Psychopath Test
Do you think they're hinting at something here?

Maybe I really am as nuts as Amazon thinks I am.

Awful Craigslist Post

2011-06-20T18:43:00.001-04:00

SPEAK LANAGUAGES - $100 (Decatur)

ALL LANAGAGES AVAIL!!!

Alright, you've piqued my interest - despite the spelling errors. How will I be learning all of the languages? And do I get all languages for $100, or is it $100 per language? You say all languages, but do you mean all languages ever or just modern languages? Because I'd kind of like to learn the Pre-Renaissance Tuscan dialect. Is that included? I'm sorry sir, but you really need to include more detail.

Awful Craigslist Post

2011-06-19T18:22:00.000-04:00

Section: Free Stuff

Toilet
This is a high volume flush toilet. Only one is still available.

Have you ever been THAT desperate for a toilet? No seat, no bowl cover, no tank lid.

Awful Craigslist Post

2011-06-19T10:41:00.003-04:00

I could never come up with any sort of commentary to do this justice.

Section: Cars

Needs Cheap Car For Mexican Friend

my friend, hes a mexican.
he needs a nice car around the price of $206-$216
Hes an alright fellow
But them popo, towed his car
and he was allll "GET IN MY BELLY"

Im lookin for a car, thats pretty low, nice rims, nice interior, maybe a fresh paint job?
mmhmm

And it needs to be able to drive long disances, say..mexico?

If it needs a little gas it okay

hes a beaner LOL
he wont care

he already got his own siphon hose

Craigslist remains weird

2011-06-18T18:06:00.000-04:00

I can only spend so much time looking at the craigslist personals. So I'm gonna sprinkle in some other weird posts.

MISSING
Lost Mask

Please help!!!!

I have lost my Spiderman mask somewhere between the Darkhorse tavern, and Barnett street. I was on a midnight patrol of the virginia highlands and took it off only because it was sweltering hot and the cops at Summerfest seemed to have things under control. I really need it back in order to keep my true identity a secret, and it's really not that cool without the whole costume. So if you have picked it up thinking how cool it was that you found a spiderman mask on the sidewalk, please can I have it back now? Thanks.

VaHi has its own superhero vigilante. This is GREAT news!

Life After Agnes

Vanity

Tales from My Sister: 2nd Grade Teacher

Gone With The Wind in Internet Language

Tweets of the Year Vol. 9

Tweets of the Year Vol. 8

Tweets of the Year Vol. 7

Tweets of the Year Vol. 6

Tweets of the Year Vol. 5

Tweets of the Year Vol. 4

Tweets of the Year Vol. 3

Tweets of the Year Vol. 2

Posting after a very long break

A Couple Notes on Life

Tweets of the Week (for non-baseball people)

Sleeping with Leia

Tweets of the Week - Late September Edition

Braves-Hawk!

PSA: I'll Do All the Things 4 U

The Worst Morning of the Rest of My Life

Blogger Fail

Search Term Wins

Best of Twitter's Trending Topics - Tuesday

Trending Topics of the Week -Twitter

Best of Twitter - Star Wars Edition!

Best of Twitter - Beginning of the Week

Tweets of the Week

Anniversary

Best Tweets of the Past Fortnight

Peyton's Two!

Day 5 - Declare your love for an uncool movie

Day 4 - Waste Time

Belated Tweets of the Week

eyes

Best of Atlanta - Art Galleries

Day 3 - Eat

Day 2 - Look a Fool

Day 1 - Declare your love for an uncool tv show

Because I haven't talked about myself in a while

Best of Atlanta - Graffiti

Best of Atlanta - Overlooked Tourist Spot

Best of Atlanta - Neighborhoods

Best of Atlanta - Local Bloggers

Tweets of the Shark Week

Music I'm Into Lately

Best of Atlanta - Hometown Internet

Best of Atlanta - Place to People Watch

Best of Atlanta - Athlete You've Never Heard Of

Best of Atlanta - Local Celebrity

Best of Atlanta - Evidence of Social Progress

Best of Atlanta - Person You Love to Hate

Best of Atlanta - Bizarro News Story

Best of Atlanta

Reading and Laundering

Nate McLouth's hair only gets worse

Tweets of the Fortnight

Rest in Peace, Sullivan Hayes

Lack of Posting

Baseball Quotes - Managers

Baseball Quotes - Spitball

Baseball Quotes - Curve Ball

Baseball Quotes - Ego

Baseball Quotes - LOLmets

Awful Craigslist Post - Room for Rent

Baseball quotes - Serious Business

Craigslist Discusses the APS Cheating Scandal

Baseball quotes - Alcohol

Llewella Loves Harry Potter

Awful Craigslist Post - Pregnant

Baseball quotes - Yogi Berra

Gay Disney Villains

Awful Craigslist Post - Bored

Baseball Quotes

Baseball Hair

Portlandia

Tweets of the Week

What I've Been Doing In Portland

Sullivan the Greyhound

Till the Very End

All the Pets